


Is Jaime an Asshole?

by TeamGwenee



Series: Am I the Asshole? [2]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Humour, Reddit AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:35:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26866018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeamGwenee/pseuds/TeamGwenee
Summary: Jaime turns to reddit to find out if he is the asshole for leaving his sister to die. Post ADWD
Relationships: Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth, Past Jaime Lannister/Cersei Lannister
Series: Am I the Asshole? [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1959919
Comments: 23
Kudos: 103





	Is Jaime an Asshole?

[ https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e4h8io/aita_for_putting_my_sisters_letter_into_the_fire_(it_means_she_will_probably_die) ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e4h8io/aita_for_putting_my_sisters_letter_into_the_fire_\(it_means_she_will_probably_die\))

Ok so the title sounds bad but hear me out. 

Me and my twin sister used to be really close. We did everything together. We played together, swam together, lost our virginity together...you get the picture.

Then I got a job. Initially it was to keep me close to her, but for reasons Dad took her back home while I was left alone. I was kinda hyped about my new job at first but things kind of went...wrong. 

_(I go into more detail in a previous post. Check it out for background info._ [ _https://www/reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/r6g4tr/aita_for_stabbing_an_old_man_i_promised_to_protect_in_the_back_ ](https://www/reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/r6g4tr/aita_for_stabbing_an_old_man_i_promised_to_protect_in_the_back) _)_

After that my sister moved back to town and I cleaved to her more than I ever. We were serious and I was committing myself fully to her, and committing high treason too, and one or two people ended up dying. So we were pretty dedicated, as you can tell, even though she was married. 

Then we got separated again. I was taken captive for over a year, looked away in a sunless cell with nothing but my shit bucket to keep me company. At last I was released into the care of a great stupid aurochs of a woman with a fucked up face and pretty eyes. She was even worse company than the shit bucket. She was boring and bossy and stupid and honourable and innocent and her eyes were so stupid and dumb and pretty…

My cousin was there too but he had no personality and he died a little while later.

  
So anyway I was desperate to get back to my family, especially my sister/lover. But then that stupid ugly wench went and got us captured. It was all her fault. We started fighting and she wouldn’t just let me keep the bloody sword. Anyway, during the fight that she was _not winning_ no matter how glorious she looked and whatever she tells you, we got captured by some not very nice people. I would go so far to say that they were actually quite unpleasant. They were planning to do the stupid wench a lot of hurt and as I watched her get dragged off, her blue eyes all stupid and brave and beautiful, for some reason ‘sapphires’ popped into my head. 

So I talked our captors out of harming the wench by telling them her father will offer up their weight in sapphires if she was returned to him alive and unharmed. It worked, but then they looked for something else to entertain them, and now I’m typing this out left handed. 

I bore my sufferings nobly and well, but I must give the wench some credit for getting me through some rough patches. By this point the only thing keeping me alive was getting back to my family/sister/lover. And the stupid wench telling me to live and making me drink medicine and keeping me from drowning in the bath. 

The rest of the journey home was pretty tame after that. I spilled out my deepest darkest secrets, popped a boner at the wench’s wet, naked legs, despite having pretty low blood pressure from the infection in my stump. Then I dreamed about the wench naked wielding my sword (not in _that_ way. My dad and my sister and my old boss was there as well.) And then I saved the wench from a bear (and looked fab-u- _lous_ while doing so I might say) before getting home.

So things had changed a fair lot since I was away. I had lost my hand, my sister was widowed, our son was dead, and I had grown out a beard my sister didn’t like.

I knew that after being away for so long things would be different between us, but I didn’t expect things to be so bad. It was really difficult getting back on track. We just weren’t on the same wave lengths anymore. My stump disgusted her. I wanted us to get married. She wanted me to kill our brother and shave off my beard. 

Things were looking up when we fucked next to our son’s dead body in the middle of the Sept, but then she wanted to do it on my office table which just felt like crossing a line. I’m particularly glad I put my foot down because the wench turned up a little while later wearing this pretty blue dress that matched her eyes and I didn't want her seeing any stains or marks we might have left. 

Anyway, I gave the wench a sword and a quest and sent her on her way. Hopefully I will never see her or her pretty blue eyes or thick legs ever again. 

Things continued to spiral between my sister and I. I broke my brother out of prison and he killed our dad. He also told me my sister had been fucking a bloody garrison of men in my absence. I knew she was in a tough spot, but she wouldn’t even tell me the truth herself when I gave her the opportunity. All that stuff about loving only each other...what bollocks! Not only that, my sister began making some..questionable choices. Like, not just cruel, but _stupid_ as well. 

Ever since getting back from my travels, I found this persistent desire to do….not evil things? It’s kind of like I’m fourteen again, back when I had Ser Arthur Dayne’s miniature in my pocket. I thought at first it was just the drugs they gave me for my hand but it still hasn’t worn off. It’s this constant nagging at the back of my head, a voice almost as bossy and annoying as the wench’s. 

In the end my sister packed me off to do some work in the Riverlands. I actually did a pretty good job. I prevented some rape, ended some sieges, saved countless lives and only made one threat of infanticide. Overall, I’m feeling good about myself. I know some people will be all like ‘ummm it doesn’t matter you’re putting an end to wars and saving lives and letting the smallfolk prepare for winter because you’re doing it in the name of a corrupt system fyi!’

_(It’s fucking feudalism! You think the Tully and Starks don’t get their food from some overworked, underpaid farm labourer like the rest of us? You think they don’t send out their smallfolk armed with rocks tied to sticks to die in wars they didn’t start and would win nothing for? The bloody Blackfish kicked out all the non-warriors from his castle and holed himself up in there with all the food he could snatch from the fields. If you want to look at how_ I _treat smallfolk, ask my washerwoman. Go on...ask her!)_

Then I get a letter from my sister.

During our time apart I began re-evaluating my feelings for her. Needless to say, at first there was a lot of anger. Her infidelity really cut me. It’s like the stone I built my life on had crumbled into sand. Then I started thinking about all of her other faults, and I began to question whether I really needed to die with her like I always thought. 

Problem is, that’s pretty much what this letter was asking. She had been arrested, and wanted me to be her champion in a trial by combat. Which...one hand...hello! It’s not like the gods are going to do me any sort of favour. I don’t know the particulars, but knowing my sister, she’s guilty as fuck. 

So I put the letter in the fire. 

Hey, it’s winter. Going to need all the kindling I can get.

So What do you think, am I the asshole?

Edit:

Sorry for the lack of replies to your questions, someone’s just turned up the camp and is asking for me. Some bold, ugly wench carrying my sword. She’s taking me on a quest into the Riverlands, and I don’t know how long it will be until you hear from me again.

It could be nine days, for all I know. Or nine years. 

Hopefully it won’t be that long. 


End file.
